Every Heartbeat for Your Glory

Alabaster Jar

By Gateway Worship

This alabaster jar
Is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet Lord
It's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my joy

Like You spilled Your blood
I spilled my heart
As an offering to my King

Here I am take me
As an offering
Here I am giving
Every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me, take me

This time that I have left
Is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've lived astray
And though my days are few
You gave Your life for me
So I will live my life for You

Like you spilled your blood
I spilled my heart
As an offering to my King

Here I am take me
As an offering
Here I am giving
Every heartbeat for your glory 
Take me 


We began singing Alabaster Jar three years ago during our Sunday Worship.  The Alabaster Jar comes from the story of a woman who poured a very expensive jar of perfume on Jesus shortly before his death.  It was an act of worship only Jesus understood.  Witnesses considered the woman unworthy and foolish; Jesus received her humble sacrifice.


The song reflects the desire of my heart.  My journey with God began shortly after I returned to Church.  I simply made myself available to God, "use me Lord."  I knew my sin, I knew my worth, but I offered it anyway.  To my surprise he took me up on my offer.  I serve today because I learned freedom through surrender.  The road is not easy, but it is the only road worth traveling.


In today's Contemporary Christian world "Alabaster Jar" doesn't make the rotation very often anymore.  However, we sang it last Sunday.  I sang the first verse and most of the chorus with zeal, "hear I am, take me!"  


Then I hit hurdle I had overlooked in the past, "every heartbeat, for your glory".  Whoa hold on, back the Jesus Van up, every heartbeat?  That is a major claim; am I truly living every heartbeat for God?  Should I be making this claim before examining my heart?


Anybody else ever fall into the trap of dividing your time from God's time?  It looks something like, "I just spent hours praying, now time for some me time."  or "I spend my day helping others, tonight is going to be about what I want."  Sound selfish?  Yep, it sounds selfish to me too.  It is certainly not true to the lyrics.  Maybe I should sing, "Here I am take me as an offering, here I am giving, a few heartbeats for your glory, as long I get mine".


Are you offering God your best or your leftovers?  Was that the difference between Cain's offering and Able's?  Was it the difference between the woman who gave two coins and the other who gave much more?  Was it why Jesus was so pleased with the woman with the alabaster jar?  


What would giving every heartbeat for God look like?  Perhaps it is not even humanly possible; yet God calls us to strive towards it.  From the outside a life dedicated to God looks difficult.  In Philippians, Paul speaks of the suffering he has endured and yet the letter is filled with the words "joy" and "rejoice"; an upbeat letter about misery?  


Paul's faith and reliance in God grew as he faced hardship.  Satan threw his best at Paul, but he remained focused on his mission.  Satan's words, "Paul, you deserve a break, you've done enough, let someone else bear this burden for awhile", fell on deaf ears.  Our pursuit of God does not keep us out of harms way, (it often draws us into the thick of the battle) but the more we live for God, the less vulnerable we become to Satan's traps.       

___________________

 ³⁶ When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. ³⁷ A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. ³⁸ As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

 ³⁹ When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
 ⁴⁰ Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
   “Tell me, teacher,” he said.
   ⁴¹ “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴² Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
 ⁴³ Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
   “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
 ⁴⁴ Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵ You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶ You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. ⁴⁷ Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
 ⁴⁸ Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
 ⁴⁹ The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
 ⁵⁰ Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:36-50, New International Version, ©2011)

___________________

² Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
   Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. ³ In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. ⁴ And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, ⁵ but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
 ⁶ Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
 ⁸ Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. (Genesis 4:2-8, New International Version, ©2011)

___________________

 ⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴² But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
 ⁴³ Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. (Mark 12:41-43, New International Version, ©2011)

___________________

¹⁹ for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. ²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.  ²⁷ Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel ²⁸ without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. ²⁹ For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, ³⁰ since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. (Philippians 1:19-230, New International Version, ©2011)

Keep Your Hands and Feet Inside at All Times

I love roller coasters; the sudden acceleration, the sharp fast turns, the press of gravity in a loop, and free floating over an unexpected rise.  All these elements make for a great adrenaline pumping ride, but in my daily life I to look for something more sedate, more planned, more predictable.  It's not happening; God loves roller coasters too.   He created them to illustrate the ride he wants to take us on.


I was certain I knew where God was heading.  A nice straight track lay ahead all the way to the vision He placed in my heart four years ago.  He asked me to remain at the coalition to demonstrate my willingness to submit to authority.  He made me an integral part of our communities cold night shelter.  He gave me free access to Belle View Middle School, a large empty facility which fit the "think big" part of the vision.  He turned enemies into allies and introduced me to people at the school district who understand my vision.  Beginning our mission at Belle View was only a matter of time.


Whooa!  Where did that turn come from?  We didn't get Belle View.  It appears Belle View is going to someone else who can afford to lease it for a very long time.  Did I miss something?  Should I have done something different?  Did I stay too long?  What's up God?


After every unexpected turn, God reminds me He is in control.  Predicting His next move is foolish.  The Bible clearly indicates God is unpredictable.  Abraham knew God blessed him with Isaac; he wasn't expecting God to ask him to sacrifice his son.  Moses thought God was going to anoint him Pharaoh to free his people; he wasn't expecting to be chased out of town for 40 years.  Gideon wanted a safe quiet life; he wasn't expecting God to chose him to rescue Israel. Samuel was certain he knew what a king looked like; he wasn't expecting God to choose a young shepherd boy.  The Jews were expecting the King of Kings; they weren't expecting a child born in a feed bin.      


Why does God love surprises?  There are many reasons, here's two.  First, If we knew God's complete plan would we continue to rely on Him?  While walking with my parents as a child I often wanted to express my independence by striding out ahead of them.  However, as the distance between my parents grew, I would stop and make sure we were together.  God allows us to make strides on our own, but he wants us to stop occasionally to make sure we are together.


Second, our perspective is very limited.  I am fortunate to keep the details of my workplace and home in order.  God's plan requires coordinating the lives of every individual ever born.  His plan is much greater than ours; from our perspective the subtle changes he make to accomplish his plan may seem sudden and erratic.  God's plan from the very beginning was for our salvation.  When unexpected turns occur in our lives, we must trust the change was made to accomplish this goal.  We are called to live by faith.  Which loosely translated means; hang on tight, this is going to be an amazing ride!


God does not leave us or forsake us.  Within an hour of finding out Belle View was not in the plan, God opened four new options.  One involves continuing to work with the contacts he created at the school board.  One involves free office space in the neighborhood where we would like to plant our church.  One involves collaborating with another Christian ministry to build an outreach center.  The last one is an old contact renewed, which may find a building for our entire ministry.  Please keep your hands and arms inside at all times; the ride isn't over.  

 ² Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”
 ³ Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. ⁴ On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. (Genesis 22:2-4, New International Version, ©2011)

¹² Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. ¹³ The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?”
 ¹⁴ The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.”
 ¹⁵ When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well. ¹⁶ Now a priest of Midian had seven daughters, and they came to draw water and fill the troughs to water their father’s flock. (Exodus 2:12-16, New International Version, ©2011)

 ¹¹ The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. ¹² When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”
 ¹³ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the LORD has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”
 ¹⁴ The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” (Judges 6:11-14, New International Version, ©2011)

 ⁶ When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
 ⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
 ⁸ Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” ⁹ Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” ¹⁰ Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” ¹¹ So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
   “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”
   Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
 ¹² So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
   Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.” (1 Samuel 16:6-12, New International Version, ©2011)

 ¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.
 ⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. (Luke 2:1-7, New International Version, ©2011)

 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9, New International Version, ©2011)



A Tandem Ride With God
I used to think of God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.

But later on, when I met Jesus, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Jesus was in the back helping me pedal. I didn't know just when it was He suggested we change, but life has not been the same since I took the back-seat to Jesus, my Lord. He makes life exciting. When I had control, I thought I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at break-through speeds; it was all I could do to hang on! Even though it often looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!" I was worried and anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared", He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, our journey, my Lord's and mine. And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it, but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus.

And when I'm sure I just can't do any more, He just smiles and says... "Pedal."
(Author unknown)

Compulsion

Compulsion Psychology . a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.


^14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

 ^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
 ^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
 ²⁴I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
 ²⁵The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:14-25, The Message)

I still wrestle with myself; do you?  I know and have experienced the saving grace of God, I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, I believe through His death and resurrection I have been freed from sin; yet I still wrestle with myself.  There is part of me which desires to return to prison; to submit to the chains Jesus gave everything to remove.


There was a time I was ruled by compulsion.  I knew my behavior was harmful,  I knew I was destroying my relationships, I knew I was wasting my life feeding my physical desires, but I was trapped.  However, God never gave up on me.  He climbed into the pit I had dug and rescued me.  He sent His son to free me from the trap.


If I have been freed from my pit; why does God allow me to continue to wrestle?  Because I am still a work in process.  I have been pardoned from my death sentence but there is still much work to be done; I need to be honed and sharpened.  When I was living in my pit each wrestling match resulted a deeper hole.  Now, every wrestling match make me stronger.


My sinful nature still lives within me; temptation still attempts to pull me away from God.  Sometimes I screw up; I look back down the road and the Holy Spirit convicts me (slaps me up side the head).  Conviction is God's way of getting His children's attention.  When God convicts me, He draws attention to my behavior and ask me to make a choice.


God's words are simple, "I am a jealous God".  There is no room in our relationship with God for another god.  In the bible these gods had names like Baal and Asherah; today we craft gods out of most anything.  The world is vying for our attention through texting, televisions, social networks, video games, pornography, alcohol, drugs, shiny cars, better homes, hedonism, sports, hobbies, box stores, fast food joints, and clubs.  God is a jealous God; he convicts and calls us to make a choice.

My battles with my own sinful nature make me a better servant to the homeless.  Their lives ruled by compulsion are not so far from my own.  Without Jesus my life would be identical to theirs.  The difference between living with God and living away from God are sharply contrasted by their struggles and my own.  When God convicts me and asks me to choose between Him and the world, I don't always comply immediately.  I often bargain, whine, and complain about the sacrifice.  It may take a few days or more for me to understand the weight of my choice.  In the end I lay down something my flesh loves for something my spirit loves.  Choosing God builds spiritual muscle and produces victories in the spiritual realm. 

¹⁴ “Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! ¹⁵ And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
(Joshua 24:14-15, New King James Version)