Compulsion

Compulsion Psychology . a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.


^14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

 ^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
 ^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
 ²⁴I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
 ²⁵The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:14-25, The Message)

I still wrestle with myself; do you?  I know and have experienced the saving grace of God, I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, I believe through His death and resurrection I have been freed from sin; yet I still wrestle with myself.  There is part of me which desires to return to prison; to submit to the chains Jesus gave everything to remove.


There was a time I was ruled by compulsion.  I knew my behavior was harmful,  I knew I was destroying my relationships, I knew I was wasting my life feeding my physical desires, but I was trapped.  However, God never gave up on me.  He climbed into the pit I had dug and rescued me.  He sent His son to free me from the trap.


If I have been freed from my pit; why does God allow me to continue to wrestle?  Because I am still a work in process.  I have been pardoned from my death sentence but there is still much work to be done; I need to be honed and sharpened.  When I was living in my pit each wrestling match resulted a deeper hole.  Now, every wrestling match make me stronger.


My sinful nature still lives within me; temptation still attempts to pull me away from God.  Sometimes I screw up; I look back down the road and the Holy Spirit convicts me (slaps me up side the head).  Conviction is God's way of getting His children's attention.  When God convicts me, He draws attention to my behavior and ask me to make a choice.


God's words are simple, "I am a jealous God".  There is no room in our relationship with God for another god.  In the bible these gods had names like Baal and Asherah; today we craft gods out of most anything.  The world is vying for our attention through texting, televisions, social networks, video games, pornography, alcohol, drugs, shiny cars, better homes, hedonism, sports, hobbies, box stores, fast food joints, and clubs.  God is a jealous God; he convicts and calls us to make a choice.

My battles with my own sinful nature make me a better servant to the homeless.  Their lives ruled by compulsion are not so far from my own.  Without Jesus my life would be identical to theirs.  The difference between living with God and living away from God are sharply contrasted by their struggles and my own.  When God convicts me and asks me to choose between Him and the world, I don't always comply immediately.  I often bargain, whine, and complain about the sacrifice.  It may take a few days or more for me to understand the weight of my choice.  In the end I lay down something my flesh loves for something my spirit loves.  Choosing God builds spiritual muscle and produces victories in the spiritual realm. 

¹⁴ “Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! ¹⁵ And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
(Joshua 24:14-15, New King James Version)