What am I

I woke this morning with doubt.  I confess it isn't the first and it will probably not be the last time I will fight this battle.  This seed of doubt was not about large issues; my faith is strong, my salvation assured.  Those doubts would be very difficult for the enemy to sow.  However, smaller doubts surrounding my call and my ministry can find more fertile soil if allowed to propagate.  

I have been called to homeless ministry.  The opportunities I have had to serve the homeless required God's intervention.  There is no path I could have charted to take me from where I was seven years ago to where I am today.  I signed on to be a follower of Christ and that trail has brought me here.

However, here are the uncertainties of the morning.  One, who am I ?  Two, there are four faith based ministries in Tallahassee do we need a fifth?  Three, the Big Bend Homeless Coalition is the big dog in homeless services, why would I leave to start something new?

Who am I to lead?  I can think of twenty greater men of God than me in my own fellowship; men I would gladly follow into battle.  When I asked God about His choice He pointed me towards Corinthians 1:26-31 and Jeremiah 9:23-24.  He reminded me of Moses, Gideon, David, Peter, James, John and Paul.  None of these men were the likely choice.  Through them God's impact was greater because of their unexpected election.  I am honored to be less so God can be more.  Doubt one dealt with.

Do we really need another homeless ministry?  God answered this question by flood.  Over the last four years the average number of people I serve has been around One hundred per week, of this one hundred approximately twenty-five were new contacts, seventy-five regular connections.  It is Tuesday and I have already visited with One hundred twenty people, many new contacts.  Each ministry in Tallahassee, as part of the "Body of Christ", provides essential services and meets certain needs.  Connections will meet the needs I currently serve and additional unmet needs.  Our vision is as unique as the God who created it.  Doubt two answered.

I work for the lead homeless agency, why branch away?  God brought me to the BBHC for a season.  They provided a training ground and opportunities to reach and form relationships in the homeless community.  Connections will remained a member of the Coalition, but our perspectives are diverging.  I am faith based, the BBHC is not.  The BBHC is not comfortable with me sharing my faith openly and I am increasingly unable to hide it.  The BBHC continues to seek answers from the world; I am convinced the answer is Jesus.  BBHC Outreach is moving away from a relational model and I am moving towards Connections.  Doubt Three put to rest.  

Doubt lasted for only a short time this morning.  I began writing this a few minutes before I began seeing folks.  God directed me to the scriptures below while Shawn McDonald played on my ipod, "what a beautiful God, what am I who might be called your child?"  Doubts evaporate in His presence!  I shared my doubt so others who doubt will not panic; whisper His name and he will come to you.  

 ^26-31Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don't see many of "the brightest and the best" among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That's why we have the saying, "If you're going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God."  (1 Corinthians 1:26-31, The Message)



 ^23-24God's Message:
   "Don't let the wise brag of their wisdom.
   Don't let heroes brag of their exploits.
Don't let the rich brag of their riches.
   If you brag, brag of this and this only:
That you understand and know me.
   I'm God, and I act in loyal love.
I do what's right and set things right and fair,
   and delight in those who do the same things.
These are my trademarks."
   God's Decree.  (Jeremiah 9:23-24, The Message)